Do you have a friend or family member that is having a baby? Not sure of the proper etiquette to follow when visiting a newborn? Here are 10 tips to keep in mind when visiting a new mom.
Tips When Visiting a New Mom
1. Ask when you can come over.
New moms are busy trying to take care of their little one and resting when they can. Plus, they are still trying to figure out a routine. Asking what time is best to visit is something you should do. They may prefer mornings or evenings or they might even need a day or two before they are ready for visitors. Don’t take it personally if they ask for some privacy.
2. Don’t go over if you are sick.
This is to protect the baby. A slight cold or cough could be very dangerous to an infant. Be respectful and avoid going around a new baby if you even feel a tiny bit off. Newborns are too vulnerable to fight off any sort of illness.
3. Bring food.
This isn’t a necessity, but it is thoughtful if you ask if they want you to bring them anything. They are already exhausted from being up all night with a crying baby so they are probably lacking on making a healthy or even a home cooked meal.
4. Ask before holding the baby.
Some moms may allow visitors to come and see the baby but they might not want everyone touching them. It is best to ask if they are comfortable with you holding the baby or not. Don’t be upset if mom and dad don’t want you to hold the baby, they may not be ready to expose their child to all the germs.
5. Wash your hands.
It is important to clean your hands before holding a newborn. You don’t realize how many germs you have been in contact with since the last time you washed your hands. Newborns can get sick very easily, so it is best to do everything you can to avoid passing too many germs on to them.
6. Keep your visit short.
Mom is tired. Exhausted. She’s juggling a new baby and all of her normal chores plus trying to figure out how to get a nap or a shower in. Don’t overstay your welcome. Your visit should be no longer than an hour, unless she asks you to stay longer. If you want to see the baby again just ask! I’m sure she’ll let you come back!
7. Ask if she needs help.
There’s a chance mom needs a little help around the house. Maybe she needs you to let the dog outside to use the bathroom. Or maybe she wants to take a much needed shower while you watch the baby. Don’t be offended if she even asks if you can switch the laundry for her. I definitely asked my family members to help me with a few chores at first (dishes, laundry, vacuuming, etc.).
8. Avoid giving too much advice.
New moms are getting a lot of advice on how they should be doing this or that. Trust me someone has already given her the advice you want to give. Give her some time to figure out how to do things on her own. Unless she asks for it, don’t tell her everything you did with your children. She wants to learn how to do things her own way first.
9. Ask before posting to social media.
Now a days everyone posts everything on social media. Make sure to ask before posting a picture of their baby on the internet. Some moms don’t want their child’s picture out there just yet. Don’t be upset if she asks you not to.
10. Don’t expect to be entertained.
Her house is probably a mess, her bathroom probably hasn’t been cleaned in some time. Don’t expect too much from mom. Don’t judge her for her messy house. Most importantly, don’t expect to be offered food or drinks. Like I’ve said before, she’s tired. When she’s up for entertaining guests she will invite you over and have food to offer you. Until then, enjoy your short visit with the baby (and a possible sleep-deprived mom).
Ask mom before doing anything. She may have some weird rules she wants you to follow and that’s okay. She’s adjusting to new mom life or even life with another child. Offer help if you are willing to lend a hand and don’t expect too much from her. She will be ready for guests when she is ready so give her the space if she asks for it. Lastly, don’t take anything personally all moms react differently when a newborn is involved.